losing our marbles

I don't often discuss religious or political ideas in this space as I really want it to remain a beautiful and harmonious space that brings people of all beliefs together in parenting, creativity, enjoying nature, etc.  However, as I sat in church this morning, the message was such a parenting revelation to me that I feel compelled to share it here.

The speaker told a story about a podcast that he listened to about how short time, and our lives, truly are. The person giving the podcast gave an example of putting marbles in a jar, one marble for each week that your child has left at home before heading to college, and how sobering that image is.  The speaker at church decided to invest in marbles for each of his four children and so each of his children have a jar with the number of marbles corresponding to the number of weeks that his children have left in his home until starting college.  Then he showed the jar in which he'd collected the marbles representing the weeks that had passed since his family started this project.  There were 56 marbles representing the 14 weeks that have passed.  He mentioned that just seeing those jars sitting on his mantle at home was such a visible reminder to always treat his family as if their time together was short.  Because it truly is.

And so I counted up how many marbles each of our children would have.

Paul: 264 marbles
Elizabeth: 316 marbles
Philip: 420 marbles
Finn: 628 marbles

Those numbers seem so sobering.  In some ways 264 or 316 weeks seem like forever, but in other ways it seems like yesterday that Paul and Elizabeth were just beginning kindergarten and had 628 weeks left in our home.  Now they have less than half that many.

In the day to day challenges of parenting, it can be easy to focus on the monotony of cooking, laundry, running children here and there, helping with school work.  It can be easy to forget that the marbles are disappearing out of the jar. Week, by week, by week.

And as each of those marbles disappear, I lose a chance to lay in bed beside someone and listen to her dreams instead of folding laundry.  I lose a chance to play with trains for 5 more minutes instead of getting a head start on dinner. I lose a chance to play a board game instead of knitting or reading on my own. I lose a chance to make memories on a farm, at the market, in the backyard, on a hike. Each week those marbles disappear, whether I've made the most of that week or not.

I don't know if I'll buy 1628 marbles and divide them into 4 jars to watch them tick away the weeks I have left with my children.  I do know that I will find a tangible way to remind myself to be in the moment, to enjoy this short time I have with them.  They only have one childhood to remember. And that time is right now.

Because in 628 marbles...628 weeks...that chance will be gone.

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. ~ Psalm 90:12